a long time coming….
yes, it is.
Ever since I stumbled upon another artist’s blog that mentioned making no apologies for not blogging regularly and only when she “damn well felt like it”, I’ve sorta let myself off of the hook. I started this to keep track of my own creative thoughts, but have found myself on a bit of a treadmill lately, between prepping for street art shows and creating websites. I ride the waves between excitement and exhaustion, but little of my time has been spent in true contemplation of the creative process. In fact, I am growing quite tired of the prospect of reproducing myself so that I have affordable art for the masses. I want to give myself to my painting again. I miss it, and the time spent away from it has left me feeling a bit blocked.
Realizing that I’ve been a bit too driven by product and not having enough time to give myself to my authentic creative process, I’ve decided to take a process-painting workshop this weekend (“Breakthroughs in Intuitive Painting” ). Today marks Day One in the workshop, and though I can’t say that I’ve come to my creative breakthrough yet, I can say that I am thoroughly enjoying the process of painting like a child. It’s exactly what I needed. I’ll write more about this when I finish the workshop.
I almost couldn’t even afford to take the workshop, but fortunately sold a painting a couple nights ago. I thought I was having a bad sales night. First Thursday Art Walk in the Pearl is beginning to look too much like Last Thursday on Alberta, with too many drunk people and a parade of people all looking for a scene of cheap entertainment. Finally, I decided I would just enjoy myself whether I sold well or not. A woman came into my booth and decided that she had to have my painting, “Reaching Out, Letting Go”. She is a therapist, which I appreciate because the painting represents a place of healing for me. A girl stands in a field of flowers, picking seeds, and letting them fly into the wind, where a bird swoops down to carry a seed away. The flowers are St. John’s Worts (a natural anti-depressant). The girl looks like me, wearing a head-scarf (my personal trademark, since I have no hair). It took years to accept myself as a hairless woman since I’ve had alopecia since I was a teen. This was the first painting I created that reveals this… and reflects my desire to let go of what I cannot control. As I move deeper into my personal evolution, I want my painting to reflect more of this spirit. I want it to be wild, unconstrained and joyful. I am on my way.
Yes, I am.